He Said, She Said: The Stuffed Animal Debate

The GreenEs need you to solve another internal debate!

Here is the scenario:

You may know that we are a family of four but I’m not sure you know about the newest addition to our family. He’s cute, he’s cuddly, he’s gray, he’s stuffed… he’s Ellie.

Ellie is Lady H’s  stuffed elephant and was actually a gift to our oldest daughter. For the past few months, Lady H (age 2 and a half) won’t let Ellie out of her sight. She sleeps with Ellie, rides in the car with Ellie, sometimes uses the potty with Ellie (vomit), goes to school with Ellie. If Ellie is “missing” she goes to find the stuffed creature and calls out “Ellie, ellie, whereahyou?”

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Aisha, Lady H and … Ellie, on a swing in Brooklyn Bridge Park

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Lady H jumping on mommy and daddy’s bed with… Ellie

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Lady H at the dining room table with …Ellie and our friend Pinky Pie.

If you give her something else to do or play with, she will put Ellie down and will actually forget about him until she becomes idle again.  Upon her teacher’s request, Ellie is placed away in a cubby during school hours so that Lady H will still be engaged in the classroom because she was only playing with Ellie for awhile (oops!).

So – what to do about Ellie then…

SHE SAID: LET HER KEEP THE ELLIE – SHE’LL GROW OUT OF IT

Aside from having to sneak Ellie away from Lady H while she’s not looking, the stuffed animal is pretty harmless. Yes, it gets gross from being dragged all over NYC including parks and beaches but wash her up and let her play with it. It relaxes her and she considers it a companion. We do need to be vigilant about her not giving all her attention to Ellie and make sure she plays with toys, read books, colors etc. Eventually, she will grow out of her need for Ellie but right now, let her enjoy her friend.

HE SAID: THROW ELLIE OUT WHEN SHE’S NOT LOOKING AND DON’T LOOK BACK!

Ellie is everywhere and always in Lady H’s hand. She is reduced to a one-armed bandit! She tries to climb the stairs with the thing, or eat meals, or climb into the car. It’s a bit problematic and dangerous. Plus if she wants her Ellie and he’s not around?!?! Lawd help us all!! Lastly, when she is riding on my shoulders, guess where Ellie is? That’s right: in my face!! She is way too attached and I would love to reduce “Ellie Time” to nap and bed time. She has shown that she can go without him at school. Home should be the same.

What say you… chime in on the Ellie debate. Do you agree with what HE SAID or SHE SAID?

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He Said, She Said: The Icy Lady Debate

The GreenEs need you to solve a debate stemming from a discussion/situation we had this weekend.

Here is the scenario:

You and your children are at an outdoor event with other kids and their families. The most important person in the world during the summer comes by, jingling her bell… the icy lady. An icy would be perfect at the moment because it is hot outside. Which of the following do you do:

A. Buy an icy for you and your children because, it’s hot and you love cherry mango icies!

B. Do not buy an icy for your children because there are other children around and their parents might not be able to buy one or want their children to have one.

C. Buy you and your children an icy and be prepared to buy an icy for each and other kid at the event/party you are attending.

SHE SAID: EITHER DO NOT BUY OR PREPARED TO BUY FOR OTHER KIDS

So Aisha thinks that if you are at a party in the park with treats and snacks that it is rude to walk away and grab icies for only you and your kids because then your kids will walk back with them and make the other kids jealous and beg their parents for one. It sucks to be the first parent or family that starts the ball rolling. If you are going to get one, you should be ready to buy one for every kid, and if you don’t want to do that, then catch the icy lady another time.

HE SAID: TOTALLY OK TO BUY AN ICY FOR YOU AND YOUR KIDS ONLY

It’s an icy! It’s not an xBox that your kid s flaunting in front of the other guests!! And if you don’t want your kid to have an icy, this is a perfect opportunity for you to introduce the word “no” to your child. I tell my kid no all the time with reasons ranging from, “I have no money on me”, to “that food is made of plastic”, to “the ice cream truck is empty unfortunately”. Why should I be deprived of a traditional summer treat so that other parent won’t have to have a simple conversation about the wonderful word “no”!?!? Not gonna happen. I’m getting my pineapple icy with a scoop of coconut and no whining kid is going to stop me!

What say you… chime in on the icy debate. Do you agree with what HE SAID or SHE SAID?

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He Said She Said: Dealing with Picky Eaters


We have some picky eaters on our hands! Whew! Lady C used to eat anything we gave her and now she only wants a limited list of items that fall within her box. Fortunately it DOES include vegetables and DOES NOT include candy (she actually hates hard candy… weird). Lady H, on the other hand, has never been interested in experimenting and currently only wants meat (of any kind) and broccoli.

When it’s time for dinner The GreenEs have very different philosophies on how to deal with picky eaters. Come see why at He Said She Said.

HE SAID: YOU EAT WHAT I COOK 

I grew up with my grandmother in the Caribbean. I repeat: a Caribbean grandmother. Now I’m old school so she was NEXT LEVEL old world attitude. She grew up in a time where there wasn’t a lot to go around. She and her 5 siblings lived in a 2 bedroom house and had to walk 30 miles to school each day…uphill…both ways…in the snow…in Trinidad! The point is that, even though we were in a far better place financially, Granny still didn’t act like were rich.

As a result, you ate what was on your plate. If you didn’t like it, you didn’t EAT! Period! Stew chicken?  yummmm! Sure! I’ll eat that. Tripe? YUCK! I ate that too or starved!  My grandmother was not making two pots. And she definitely was not adjust HER menu to cater to MY tastes. Now this meant that I ate a lot of great tasting food but I also ate some nasty crap like liver and tripe. And I didn’t die! Or starve. It’s no wonder that I adopted that same philosophy towards feeding children.

When Lady C was younger, she ate everything we put in front of her. Then suddenly she became very choosy about what she would consume. It frustrates me to no end to think about whether there is something that my child will eat in the fridge as opposed to whether there is food period. And her tastes are very different to mine. The child won’t eat shrimp!! I can’t trust anyone who doesn’t eat shrimp who isn’t allergic to it (update: I have since come around to her point of view though. They do look kinda creepy sitting on the plate from a kid’s perspective).  I want her to eat healthy foods so I try to make her eat a wider range of foods but it’s gotten to the point where it’s actually easier to prepare two meals than try to mask or alter the thing I want her to eat. Every now and again I’ll introduce something different (like baked potatoes which met with  opposition, stating “I don’t like potatoes!”. I reminded her that fries were made of potatoes and therefore she stop eating those too. Clean plate) and put my foot down but I don’t do it often. It’s not worth the battle at the end of the day!

SHE SAID: FIND OUT WHAT THEY LIKE TO EAT AND MAKE SURE THEY EAT PLENTY OF IT.

When I was growing up I was a VERY VERY picky eater. Looking back, I don’t know how my family dealt with me! I only wanted to eat what I wanted or I refused to eat at all. Many tactics were used against me by family members….

I was forced to sit at the dinner table …. allllll night long until I finished my plate. (which never worked, I always outlasted the grown ups)

I was put on punishment for not eating my meals. (*shrug* still didn’t eat them)

I was made to eat foods I did not like “Because I said so”.

I even had to watch commercials that showed starving children in other countries and was told to be grateful for the food I had.

NONE of these tactics worked… none… the one thing that worked… PATIENCE.

When I was really little my mom told my pediatrician that I would only eat ice cream… his advice was… MAKE SURE SHE EATS A LOT of it. Now, that’s pretty silly to make a kid only eat ice cream but I think the crux of his statement was – find what she likes and make sure she eats plenty of it. That worked for me.

I only liked string beans so when a plate of brussel sprouts was placed in front of me, I REFUSED to eat it. (Still to this day I’m not a fan even though I’ve had it fried and cooked at some of the best restaurants… nope, don’t like it). I never understood why I just could not have some string beans… I mean, why fight and fuss about it when they are good for you! Just give me my beans! As I got older I grew out of the picky eater stage. Although I still don’t like certain foods, by and large I am very open to trying anything. I love exotic foods and I just needed time to adjust.

For my own children, I’d rather not waste hours arguing over food. So long as it is balanced, they can eat the same thing each night. It does not concern me to have children that love quinoa and couscous and avocado though – that would be nice. I do insist that they at least TRY something once… just try… taste it to see if they like it and that has worked to expand options. But if they try and don’t like it, I move on and don’t insist they finish the plate. So if Lady C wants to eat cut up chicken, pasta noodles and broccoli each night… cool with me… she’ll grow out of it and be having sashimi with me in no time!

Tell us – how does your family deal with picky eaters?